How to be honest with your partner
Honesty plays a huge role in any relationship, particularly romantic ones. But research tells us that we aren’t so great at putting honesty into practice. Here, in this article, we want to shed light on how, to be honest with your partner. Finding out how, to be honest with your partner is essential for a healthy, sustainable partnership.
Spare a few moments to read more about being honest with your partner.
Know yourself and your goals
To understand how to be honest with your partner, you need to know yourself. You need to understand how you really feel about the world around us.
Often in your lives, you are influenced by others or conform to a set of “norms” imposed on you by society, especially your family culture.
It is important to learn how to be honest with your partner and avoid the harmful effects that affect your personality because these effects won’t allow you to understand who you really are and what you want to do in your life.
When you are honest with yourselves, you can be honest with your partner, as well. In this case, you are more likely to tell others what they want to hear.
It also makes it less embarrassing to hide things about yourself. Instead, you can be honest about who you are and let your partner know what you want in a relationship. (To read more see 10 ways of understanding and knowing yourself.)
Do what you say
Most relationships lose their luster when partners replace appearance with the substance of the relationship.
Things like saying “I love you” or doing things together become a routine and take the place of vivid choices that come out of your true feelings.
When the illusion of a relationship replaces the real ways of loving your partner, you often feel that you have distanced yourself from your partner or lost interest in him/her.
It is very important to always be honest and to match your words and actions in the relationship because it prevents cunning behaviors in the relationship.
If you say you are in love, you should behave towards your partner in a way that the other party can notice the depth of your interest by seeing your behavior.
More than that, you need to spend quality and real-time with your partner so that you can relax and communicate well. You need to express your feelings not only through words but also through body language. In other words, expressing your feelings to someone you love is the key to put honesty into action.
Saying “I love you” is not an expression of love when you are confronted and hurt by every move made by your partner because you have to express your feelings as they are.
Have honest reactions
Everything you experience in a relationship won’t be nice and pleasant. However, being honest with the person you love doesn’t mean hurting their feelings.
When you share your feelings with your S.O., try to be honest with him/her about what you are thinking or feeling.
You can say things like, “I miss you the whole time you work,” or “When you start controlling what you do together, I get less attracted to it.”
These honest and sincere statements may sometimes be upsetting, but they come from comfort and vulnerability, and can actually lead to greater intimacy and closeness with your partner.
Just as you speak directly to your partner, you must also accept his/her direct and honest views of yourself.
You should always be ready to listen to your partner and look at things from his/her perspective. What is s/he trying to say about his/her relationship with you and how they feel about you?
Instead of dwelling on trivial details, you should look for the truth that is at the heart of your partner’s conversations.
It is very important not to have a defensive or punitive reaction after hearing criticism. If you get angry when you hear criticism, you are actually encouraging your partner to hypocrisy or even lying.
Having a partner who makes you feel comfortable is the best scenario for having an honest relationship in which you can both grow and mature.
Accept your partner as a person separate from you
No matter how close you are to your S.O., you will always be two separate people with two independent perspectives.
If your partner doesn’t see things the way you do and has a different viewpoint, it doesn’t necessarily mean that s/he is lying. This means that you are two independent people, each with his/her own worldview.
The more you accept this fact, the better you can understand that you will not agree on everything. If you are honest with each other you can understand that your partner is entitled to his/her own point of view and you should accept it. (To read more see stop trying to change your partner.)
In this case, neither of you should pretend to be someone else or try to fit in with each other’s ideas or expectations.
Instead, you can support your partner in developing the qualities that shape your personality and give meaning to your lives.
This steady flow, this desire to be honest, even if it’s uncomfortable, helps you build a sense of trust in each other despite all your differences.
Most importantly, with such a choice, you can be certain that you really love each other, not that you love the fantasies you have made of each other in your imagination.
The Bottom Line
The truth of life is that everything may not have a mythical end, because you, as human beings, are flexible. You can face the fact that your emotional partner is attracted to someone else and you can tell him/her how you feel about it, whether it is insecurity, fear, or even anger. You can manage almost anything as long as you want to live in reality and face the facts. Honesty in relationships makes you feel safe because you know where you stand. When you are honest with yourself and your partner, you can experience happy and exciting lives.