How to become friends with someone again
Having an argument with someone and getting angry with them can be a painful experience for anyone. But you should be patient for some time before you make any attempts to meet them and talk to them again. Some people are likely to use unkind words, in such a situation, in that their emotions are running high and, as a result, they won’t have any control over their anger. However, to become friends with someone again, you should learn from your past mistakes before reaching out to that person again. In this article, we will provide you with some of the most useful ways on how to become friends with someone again. Spare a few minutes to find out these ways.
Part One: Taking the time to relax
Having an argument with someone is one of the natural consequences of your interaction. The following ways will show you the ways you can calm yourself down after having a conflict with someone.
1. Stop having arguments before it is too late
When you are angry, you may say something that offends someone, and if you feel like you don’t have control over your emotions and words, it is best to be away from him/her while reminding them that you will reconsider the issues later. You can talk to each other after you calm down.
Even if s/he says something annoying to you, it is better to admit to yourself that they are angry now and that what they are saying is due to their lack of control over their anger. For more information on this issue be sure to read non-judgmental listening.
2. Take a deep breath to relax
The first thing you need to do after the argument is to calm yourself down. In fact, Calming yourself down when you are angry can be difficult, but staying angry not only does not help you, it also prevents you from reconciling with him/her. So the best thing to do is to take a deep breath and, in so doing, you can relax your mind.
Other activities that can help you chill out after having an argument are walking, meditating, or eating ice cream. Do whatever you think will give you some peace of mind so that you can forget the details of the argument you had.
3. Don’t forget your actions and words
Arguments and conflicts are usually never one-sided, so try to look at the conflict from the perspective of the other person and guess how s/he felt at the time.
The stress and irritability you have been experiencing recently may have contributed to this conflict. Thus, you should evaluate the various aspects of your argument and see if you have offended that person.
Looking at the world from the perspective of others may seem like a daunting task, but empathizing with and understanding someone’s feelings shows him or her that you care as much about his or her feelings as you do about yourself.
Part 2: Planning to apologize to someone
If you think that you’ve hurt someone’s feelings and you want to become friends with them again, you should be courageous enough to make a sincere apology to that person for being insensitive and unfair. The following steps can help you learn how to be friends with someone again by making apologies at the right time.
1. Keep your feelings bottled up
Don’t talk to anyone about what has happened between you and them, or the argument you had with each other. Moreover, you should remember that if you express your feelings, it will worsen the situation and create more misunderstandings on your part regarding what s/he has told you. As such, it is better to avoid describing what has happened between you and someone else, even to your closest friends.
2. Wait a few days before you make apologies for your words or behavior
Reconciliation should take place when the two parties have calmed down and are no longer upset with each other, and therefore, you should wait for some days so that s/he is willing to resolve the issues and misunderstandings more effectively.
Some people may calm down and forget about their problems after five minutes of arguing, while for others it may take months to calm down and forget the annoying words they have heard.
But, before making an apology, you should be prepared to do so!
You shouldn’t apologize and make peace just because you can’t stand being angry with him/her. An apology should be made when you truly regret your actions and seek to make up for your mistakes.
3. Do not expect to hear an apology from the other person in return for your apology
Remember that the other party may not be ready to apologize to you. Therefore, you shouldn’t expect him/her to do the same since you are apologizing for the mistakes you have made and the annoying words you have said.
Don’t forget that your only expectation, at this point, is to see if s/he will listen to you and accept your apology.
4. Meet the other party
A face-to-face meeting will help you and the other person to re-establish a cordial relationship and make your apology more enjoyable. Call him/her and tell them that you want to have a face-to-face conversation with them and arrange a time to meet with him/her. For best results, start your conversation with “I miss you” and “I’m sorry for what I said.”
If the other party is not ready to talk to you, you can talk to them through social media or by writing a letter.
Part three: Reconciliation
To realize how to be friends with someone again, it might be worth trying to make up, even if the argument was that person’s fault. Before you try to reconcile with him/her, reconsider what went wrong because identifying the problems can help you choose the best way to approach reconciliation.
1. Use the right words
If you want to become friends with someone, you should mind that just saying “forgive me” is not enough for reconciliation. It’s best to explain the reason for your apology to them quite clearly. Say, for example, I’m sorry to say, “you’re stupid,” and I was completely wrong. If you really blame yourself for having an argument with someone, you can make apologizes to him/her for not saying the right words or for your improper behavior.
2. Give the other party a chance to express themselves
After apologizing, allow that person to comment on what you have told them, and if s/he disagrees, don’t try to argue with them again, because, in doing so, you will cause him/her to remind you of the past issues and avoid reconciling with you.
3. Tell them your opinion about the argument you had
You can tell that person your feelings about the argument that took place between you, but don’t let a new conflict arise again. Tell him/her that you had no control over your nerves that day and that you hurt him/her unintentionally. Don’t justify your mistakes and take responsibility for your mistakes.
4. Accept the other party’s apology
If the other person apologizes to you for their words and behavior, accept their apology and try to re-establish a sincere relationship with them. It’s important to mind that apologizing isn’t an admission of guilt but that of responsibility. When the other party does his/her best to take responsibility for reconciliation, it’s time to accept their apologies.
5. If that person is not ready to reconcile with you, give them more time
Sometimes, the other person may not be ready to reconnect with you. What matters in such situations is to respect him/her, but don’t let anger and resentment build up. In short, you should stay calm and wait for the time s/he is ready to reconcile with you.
If that person is still angry with you, ask him/her what will improve his/her condition. If s/he asks you to do something for him/her, then you’ll have the chance to resolve the conflict.
However, if the other person doesn’t talk to you, just be the best person you can be and give them more time to calm down. In this case, you may think that s/he may be reluctant to reconcile with you, but you should just be patient with that person and let them calm down. Perhaps they need more time to let go if the past.
6. End your conversation sincerely
To become friends with someone again, you can end the meeting by hugging them, and if you aren’t able to do so, tell them that you love them a lot and that they can reconcile with you if they want to.
If they feel like you are the missing puzzle piece in their lives, then you can both help each other to reestablish your friendship through commitment, sincerity, and patience.