How to respond to ex after no contact

Ending an emotional relationship and separation for whatever reason is certainly not a pleasant experience for anyone. But many times returning to a broken relationship can be tempting. Especially if you realize that the other party also wants to give the relationship a second chance. Some couples form a stronger and happier relationship with each other after returning to the relationship, and others will repeat the previous mistakes in their relationship and experience a breakup again. The question that may arise, here, for many people is how to respond to ex after no contact? And what are the points to consider in order to succeed in having a healthy and lasting relationship? In this article, we will discuss the most important points on how to respond to ex after no contact so that you will have a strong and fulfilling relationship with your ex. Read on to learn more about these points.

Is it right to respond to ex after no contact?

It’s up to the couples to decide whether or not to start a relationship with their ex. If both parties are determined to work hard to start over, forgive each other, and strengthen their relationship, this re-engagement will, surely, be successful. Both people need to have a complete understanding of each other.

If there exist unresolved issues, resuming a relationship with an ex would not be a good idea. If the breakup of your relationship has had a specific reason in the past, it is best for both parties to agree on their boundaries together with their behaviors.

According to psychologists, if you want to know whether or not your relationship is worth rebuilding, it is essential to look at an important issue first. Why do you want to start this relationship over? Because while some of the reasons for returning to a relationship are justified, other reasons may be completely wrong.

Justified reasons to respond to ex after no contact

The most common situations that help you learn how to respond to ex after no contact and rekindle the spark in your relationship are as follows:

Forced breakup

Many people who love each other break up under conditions they have no control over. Whatever the reason for their breakup, they didn’t decide to end their relationship, but they were forcibly separated due to certain circumstances. In this case, if the external circumstances change and they realize that they can live together again, their relationship and commitment to each other will be much stronger this time thanks to the previously forced breakup.

Changing bad behavior

Sometimes the parties don’t realize that they need to change their bad behavior or their wrong attitude until their relationship reaches a dead end. This breakup is a valuable warning that awakens them from their slumber and makes them realize that if they don’t change their behavior, they will never be able to see the person they love again. If you believe that both you and your ex have learned how to change any bad behavior that caused your relationship to fall apart, it is best for you to figure out how to respond to your ex after no contact and give them another chance to have a relationship with you. (To read more see how to communicate effectively in a relationship.)

Take the opportunity to compensate

Some relationships end early, and both parties feel that they have not waited long enough for their relationship to mature further and ensure their ability to form a healthy relationship with each other. So, they both decide to start their relationship over so that they won’t regret not giving each other another chance. This resumption can be regarded as a new chapter in your life. Remember that this is an opportunity, again, for both of you to practice how to respond to your ex after no contact. (to know more see how to be your best self in a relationship.)

Wrong reasons to start a relationship over

Just as there are justified reasons to start a relationship, there are also wrong reasons for returning to a relationship, the most common of which are described in this section.


You resume your relationship, not because you really want to be together, but because you feel so alone and have not been able to find someone who is interested in you. This feeling of loneliness intensifies when you and your ex continue to associate with the same common social groups just as before, and these encounters somehow pull you towards each other. But keep in mind that such a relationship is only a temporary solution to your loneliness, and sooner or later one or both of you will feel hurt again.


It may seem silly, but some people start a relationship again because they get deadly jealous of the thought of their ex-partner having an affair. This jealousy has nothing to do with love but just to control the other party. As such, it is unlikely that a relationship formed out of jealousy will be lasting.

The decision to return to the past relationship

Before returning to the past relationship or trying to bring your ex back, first think about the answers to the following questions and then decide:

Why did you break up?

Did you break up due to family or personal crises? Or because of betrayal, lying, and abuse? These are probably the most important questions you should ask yourself before thinking about how to respond to your ex after no contact because the answer you give will largely determine whether it is right to start a relationship with your ex or not.

Can you forgive your ex completely?

Before you start a relationship over, ask yourself, ‘Can you really forgive your ex for the things they have done?’ If you want to highlight your ex’s wrong behavior in any argument, there is no point in starting your relationship, because you won’t experience the joy of intimacy in your relationship. Remember that forgiveness does not mean ignoring the mistakes they made, but you must forget their mistakes and let go of the past so that you can start a new chapter in your relationship. Don’t try to make everything the same again. Instead, try to be happy and satisfied with this return and hope for a bright future ahead of you, and with that hope, you can succeed in rebuilding your broken relationship. (To read more see how to focus on yourself after a breakup.)

Is it possible to revive your relationship?

Many couples think that when they get back together, everything will return to normal little by little and without any problems. Now you need to look at a newly revived relationship, just like a new romantic relationship.

The failure of a romantic relationship in the past doesn’t mean that this relationship is doomed to failure. But in order to get another result this time, something must have changed, otherwise, your breakup experience will be repeated again.

Some couples just need to be apart from each other for a while, to reconsider their behavior if they really want to be together again. However, making a major change in behavior is very difficult for adults. So, if your relationship is broken due to your ex’s personality traits, incompatibility or misunderstandings, it’s not a good idea to get into trouble again.

How do you treat each other after the breakup?

Some breakups are so painful. Remember that the way couples react in such tough situations often shows their true personality. So before focusing on how to respond to your ex after no contact, think carefully about the behavior of your ex in difficult times since it will help you get to know your ex better and figure out how they will behave in difficult situations in the future.

In addition, when you behave properly after the breakup, both you and your ex can hardly find hatred or resentment in your hearts. Don’t forget that the likelihood of a successful relapse depends in part on how you treat each other after the breakup. (To know more see how to discuss relationship problems without fighting.)

How important is your ex to you?

This question is important in all serious relationships, before starting any relationship you should ask yourself what place this person has in your future? Is s/he talking to you about his/her future plans? Does this person fit your perception of your life five or ten years later?

If you think you have no future with this person, by starting again, you are only imposing sorrow on yourself. Before starting your relationship again, ask yourself if your motivation for this return is just to get rid of loneliness or if you really think that you will be happy together this time. Do not offend yourself or others because of fleeting feelings.

What do your family and friends think about this restart?

When you make a decision to learn how to respond to your ex after no contact, you are often so caught up in this issue that you can’t think about it wisely. For this reason, it is best to consult your family and friends about rekindling your relationship.

If all the people who love and care about you warn you about rebuilding your relationship, they probably don’t see a bright future for this relationship. Conversely, if all your loved ones were eagerly awaiting this resumption, you can start your relationship over insofar as both you and your partner understand each other and never forget to behave properly in tough times.

Read More

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