How to start dating again after a breakup
All human beings naturally go through difficult times after the breakup, and each person, depending on his/her temperament and inner personality, must spend time to return to his/her normal state. But the question is, what should be done in this sort of situation to get back to normal sooner? The answer to this question is that you should focus on yourself, first and foremost. But there are other signs to look out for that may mean you’re ready to start dating again after a breakup. Follow the steps in this article to learn how to start dating again after a breakup.
1. Accept that your pain and discomfort is real and take them seriously
Those who have been together for a long time have affected each other both physically and emotionally. Therefore, it must be accepted that the absence of that person will lead to the formation of a kind of void in various aspects of life, and in this regard, you should seek ways to create good and new habits.
It is no exaggeration to say that you, after the breakup, may act like a person who is quitting an addictive behavior. As such, it’s quite natural to feel confused and out of control.
2. Cry and let it soothe you as a treatment
Your tears contain stress hormones. Crying helps to get rid of the inner pain and is good for your nervous system. So, after crying, you will be calmer and your body will find a better rhythm and state. Crying is not a shame, especially if it is done in the presence of family and friends, it will have more positive effects insofar as they sympathize with you.
3. Writing poetry and memoirs is not a bad idea either
After the end of the relationship, if you can’t stop thinking about your ex, you will probably suffer more. In this case, it is better to start writing poetry, if you are good at it, and memoirs to find out where the problem started. Then, after some time you will realize that the other party has shortcomings of his/her own and that s/he is not as perfect as you.
4. Pursue your hobbies
Pursuing hobbies is a good idea. You may be interested in painting, music, programming, photography, and the like. So, pick up one hobby and get busy. When you follow the hobbies you’re passionate about, you’ll be happier overall. In this case, you feel more sated with yourself and the decisions that you make. In this regard, you’ll feel emotionally ready to start dating again when you’re no longer obsessed with the breakup. (To know more see how to focus on yourself after a breakup.)
5. Reconnect with your family and friends
Reconnecting with your family and friends, after the breakup, can be regarded as the ultimate path to restore your confidence. It can be useful to set aside some time to hang out together and share your thoughts. In fact, reconnection with those who are dear to you will, consequently, bring you the happiness and peace of mind that you feel you have needed after the breakup.
6. Avoid the wrong patterns you had in choosing the other party
Most of us have a laid-back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. For this reason, we are more likely to repeat the same relationship mistakes when we start dating again after a breakup. So concentrate and draw a line under past mistakes. In other words, you should recognize where you can make improvements and then get to it. Don’t forget that this can be the best part of your life depending on how you proceed.
7. Try to find out what features and people you are most attracted to
For example, you may be attracted to fun people while they don’t like you. You need to know how to practice reciprocity in your relationship with the right person. By reciprocity, we mean that each partner should have an understanding of their own needs, so that they are able to communicate them, and are capable and willing to meet the needs of their partner, as well.
8. Identify your emotional problems in the relationship
Try to identify what exactly caused the failure in the previous relationship will pave the way to start dating again after a breakup.
Be honest with yourself and try to solve the problem by recognizing it and do not try to justify your actions. For example, if you are afraid of commitment in a relationship, it is better to work on yourself or if you are anxious, you can talk about it with the other party. Stop lying. (To read more see how to be honest with your partner.)
9. Be balanced
Being balanced has to do with being equal partners and making sure that both of you feel comfortable and supported. The best way to create such feelings would be to communicate with your partner. Let your partner listen to you when you are expressing yourself and vice versa. That way, you can fix probable problems or tensions that come up, before they throw the balance off.
10. Ignore unrealistic expectations
Remember that we don’t play roles in a romantic movie. So we can seldom find someone we like in every way. Avoid unrealistic expectations in that rarely can one find someone who is both smart and beautiful. Unfortunately, there is no factory that can build and deliver your favorite person after receiving all your desired features. (To know more see things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship.)
11. Do not look at yourself as a victim
We all experience days of sadness. You are not alone, so do not embrace the knee of sorrow in vain and do not consider yourself the most miserable and lonely creature on the planet.
12. Stop negative thoughts
Put negative thoughts aside. The failed and bitter experiences of the past are not a reason for the failure of another relationship. You must have the courage to start dating again. Put your doubts aside and open the door to new relationships.
13. Meet new people
If you want to start dating again, you shouldn’t leave things up to chance and use every possible way to meet new people. You can try dating sites or apps, in-person meet-up groups, working with a matchmaker, or even making yourself available to connect with someone while you’re waiting in a queue.
14. Overcome your fears
Overcoming fears is important. Do not be afraid to start over and do not miss new opportunities for fear of reaching a dead end and failure in the relationship or fear of losing the other party.
15. Identify your goals
If your goals are not clear at the beginning of the relationship, there will be no sincerity in your behavior and you will make the other party more hesitant to see you again.