Things to do after a breakup to feel better
We have all experienced it at some point in our lives – those awful and bitter days after a relationship ends. When all you want is to stay in bed and pull the blanket over your head. Breaking up is never easy, regardless of whether you’ve ended the relationship or not. Like most people, you probably have difficulty coping with this painful experience in a healthy way. You may resort to alcoholic drinks or negative thoughts. Or maybe you are one of those people who blame yourself for everything that has happened so far. Whatever your current coping mechanisms, you are most probably wondering if there is a better way to tackle this situation. In this article, we provide you with the most important things to do after a breakup to feel better and move on with your life. So, don’t waste another second wandering in the past and take steps now to get better.
Accept your feelings
Although it is natural that you want to let go of the past and feel better, you don’t have to give full vent to your feelings or even deny their existence. Part of the healing process is accepting your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve. This process is especially important when ending a long-term relationship. Even if the relationship is full of problems, it is still natural to feel that part of your life is missing.
It is also important to give yourself space and time to cry. Crying triggers a discharge that actually improves your mood and helps you feel better in the long run. The key to your recovery is to stay at this stage for as long as necessary. As a result, you should allow yourself a few days or maybe even a week to review and accept what has happened, but then it’s time to pack up and move on.
Of course, moving on doesn’t mean that grief doesn’t come to you from time to time.
You should admit that this is normal, but it should be noted that staying in the grieving phase and crying for a long time can call off the healing process. If you find that you can’t stop grieving or crying for no good reason, you should talk to your psychologist or counselor. Sometimes a traumatic separation can cause depression in some people or, in most cases, it can resurrect a psychological problem. If you want to read more see how to focus on yourself after a breakup.
Remove things that remind you of the other party
One of the things to do after a break up to feel better is to remove all the memorabilia and reminders of the other party from your bedroom. However, if you still have a picture of the other person next to your bed it will be somewhat difficult to move forward and recover. As a result, take the time to remove all the reminders from your bedroom.
Of course, this does not mean that you should burn their belongings, throw them on the street or sell whatever they have given you. At this point, you should collect them and place them where you can’t reach them easily. You can give back everything that belongs to them or donate them to charity if you wish. It depends on you but you should know that having the other person’s memorabilia that is easily accessible will hinder your healing progress. So be kind to yourself and keep whatever the other party has given you out of reach. More than that, you should remove the other party from your social media accounts.
While you may be curious about what they do and how their lives are going after the breakup, mind that constantly seeing the other party’s photos and posts only make you stuck in the past and can’t let go of it. It can also be very painful for you to see the other party with a new partner. So, even if it’s very difficult for you to do, delete their social account as soon as possible. It would be better if you block their posts and updates. The less contact you have with each other, the easier it will be to move on.
Make a firm decision
Sometimes losing contact with the other person is not enough to help you forget about him/her to get back to normal. In this case, you need to make a firm decision to completely end your relationship. The important thing is that you make this decision in a healthy and calm way. It should be noted that meeting the other party is not the right way to do this, like drinking a coffee together to talk or get together as a friend under the name of the last meeting. In fact, it only makes you reconnect with the other person, but in a really unhealthy way.
Instead, you have to find other ways to get to this decision. One solution would be to write a letter to the other party stating all the things you didn’t have the opportunity to say. But you shouldn’t post this letter or send it to him/her in any way. It is the process of giving vent to your feelings on paper that helps you admit that your relationship is over.
In addition, if you do send the letter, you may regret it later. You may also spend a lot of time asking whether or not s/he has read your letter, what s/he thought about your words, and if s/he wanted to write a reply letter. Instead, divert your thinking to good and positive aspects of life. And if you feel like you need to share the letter with someone, let a trusted friend or advisor read it. (To read more see how to restart your life after a breakup.)
Stop remembering the past
After the breakup, some people miss their partners and those unforgettable joyous moments they shared together. In so doing, people usually remember the good qualities of their ex instead of focusing on the things that can help them forget the past and move on. You should mind that remembering the past can be really detrimental to your recovery process. So, if you want to get back to normal and move on with your life, first of all, you need to remind yourself why you and your ex-partner can’t be together.
For this reason, take some time and write down all the things that bothered you when you were in a relationship with your ex-partner. For example, if your ex-partner was unfaithful or not interested in talking about the future, remember these things and remind yourself why your relationship never went anywhere.
Take care of yourself
The key to your recovery after the breakup is self-care. In other words, you need to make sure you choose a healthy dietary pattern, exercise regularly, take a shower, and get enough sleep. You can even loosen up a bit. Also consider massage, facial cleansing, or manicure, especially if you think it boosts your mood.
Of course, be careful not to make a very fundamental or sudden change in your appearance, for example, dyeing your hair an unusual color or cutting it off altogether. What may seem like a good idea today may be something you regret tomorrow. Therefore, you should just focus on things that make you feel better without making any irreversible or permanent changes.
You can also try other ways to take care of yourself, such as attending a yoga class, writing a memoir, or experiencing mindfulness. Even very small things like reading a good book or ordering food from your favorite restaurant can boost your mood. You can even get a new dress, a new shoe or a new item. Think of the things that make you happy and try to incorporate them into your life. (To know more see living your best self.)
Reconnect with family and friends
Although it may be tempting to lock yourself in a bedroom and drown in grief after the breakup, it is not at all a healthy reaction to your current situation. Instead, divert your thinking to good things and focus on positive aspects of your life. Take the time to call family and friends. Moreover, you can step forward to spend time with them. You should never underestimate the power of laughter when you’re spending time and having fun with those who love and support you. This is not only a great way to feel better, but it also helps you keep your mind off your ex.
You should also make an emergency contact list of people you can call in moments of discomfort and distress or, simply put, at those nights when you are tempted to call your ex-partner and ask them to come back to you, instead of calling someone on your emergency contact list. Ideally, they will be by your side to help you avoid the crazy ideas that came to your mind at 2 am.
Likewise, talking to people in support of this breakup can help clear your mind. Ideally, you have a friend or family member you can talk to. If so, consider talking to a counselor, instead. In doing so, you can assess your feelings about the breakup by expressing how you feel and coming to terms with what has happened. Just be aware that if you talk too much about your breakup, friends and family may also get bored of you.
Plan a solo adventure
After spending a long time as a couple, it is very difficult to be single again. Although the thought of doing solo work may seem a little daunting at first, it can be very liberating and rewarding for you. You don’t need to plan a big and complete adventure, you just need to start planning to think about spending your time alone again.
This can include spending a quiet evening hiking in the mountains or planning a short walk. What is important to note is that you spend more time with yourself. If you have trouble finding an idea to do such things, choose something that you really wanted to do but your ex-spouse didn’t like that.
By doing so, you will both finally get the experience you so desperately needed and the opportunity to make up for a lost time. In addition, these actions can be useful reminders of why you were not suited for one another. (To read more see be the best person you can be.)
Accept that everything is over between you
Although it is always tempting to hope for the return of your emotional partner or ex-spouse, in most cases, it is very unlikely to happen. As a result, you have to accept that the relationship is over and that it’s time to move on. If you don’t accept that everything is over, you will always be in an abyss of vague expectation and you will hope that your spouse realizes his mistake and wants you to return. Of course, it doesn’t happen most of the time.
Moreover, try not to spend too much time analyzing the mistakes you think you have made or the things you could have done to maintain your relationship. Although it is a good idea to learn from your mistakes, the constant thought of what you could or should have done keeps you in a vicious cycle. Instead, divert your thinking to good things in life, things that will work out for you. Every step you take, you get closer to healing and forgetting the other side.
You need to know that your mission now is to accept the end of the relationship. Be patient with yourself. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to get over the breakup, but if you keep trying, you will reach that point.
Whether you have ended the relationship or you have been surprised by your partner’s request for the breakup, it is important to leave the past behind and move forward. You should mind that the way you choose to get over this situation is entirely up to you. The main thing is that you make a constant effort to move on and let go of the other side.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you can completely control your emotions in the beginning, but as long as you are determined to make healthy choices in your life, you will soon find things to do after a breakup to feel better and, in doing so, your broken heart will be healed.