Things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship
Relationship breakups are so painful. However, it can be regarded as a liberating time when you focus on yourself and reconsider what’s happened so that you will realize your mistakes and learn how to start a new relationship. When you work on your flaws and issues during this period, you will increase your chances of starting a healthy relationship with a new guy/girl or even with your ex if you’re still in love with them. It should be noted, however, that, those who are sincerely happy with their choice of partner have spent more time getting to know and growing themselves than trying to attract the one they love. Instead of trying to attract someone you love, focus on the things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship and you will find that, over time, the right partner will come your way. In this article, we will shed light on the things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship. Spare a few moments to get familiar with these important points.
Understand yourself sexually and emotionally
If you have not yet understood yourself sexually and emotionally, you may have unrealistic hopes that someone else will understand and make you happy – even when you can’t do it yourself. It is important to talk directly to your partner about your feelings and sexual desires because it would futile to hope that they will be able to know your feelings and figure out your sexual fantasies.
So, one of the things you need to keep in mind when starting a new relationship is to be aware of your emotional reactions to people and events in your life. Pay attention to your reactions and label them. Think about your feelings and talk about them with others, without expecting them to make you feel better. For more information, read how to focus on yourself after a breakup.
Believe what people say and show about themselves
It is quite normal that when you are attracted to someone, you want to justify their bad behavior. If someone treats you rudely or upsets you, it has to do with their personality.
Take this seriously if you are trying to talk to someone but they ignore you or want to justify their abuse. That person may not really be a good partner for you in the future. If a girl/guy says s/he is not looking for anything serious in a relationship or needs a lot of solitude, let go of them.
They can’t share a common goal of staying with you. Believe what people say about themselves. If they are childish, disrespectful, or say things that offend you, never start a relationship with them. It is not your job to correct people and teach them how to behave. Your job is just working on yourself which, eventually, leads to your personal growth and development.
Avoid sexual intimacy
Do not try to reach emotional intimacy by rushing to have sex. If you hope that a sexual relationship will create more emotional intimacy or commitment between you, give up, you are wrong!
Recent research shows that relationships that begin with premarital sex and emotional intimacy will not turn into committed relationships. It is with this vain hope that you will move the relationship forward while you can spend your time and energy getting to know yourself better and finding someone who loves you for who you really are. Be sure to read how to respond to ex after no contact.
Emotionally detach yourself from your parents
This is not easy at all. And many people think that they did but, in reality, they didn’t. If you, as an adult, allow your parents to meet all your emotional needs, you will no longer have the energy for your romantic relationships and attachments. Remember that one of the things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship is to be as independent as possible from your parents.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy being with your parents, spending time with them and talking about your life and experiences. It means being able to make decisions on your own. Excessively seeking their opinion, approval, guidance, or permission in all your endeavors means that you are still dependent on your parents and don’t live for yourself.
And if you allow your parents to carry all the heavy burdens of your life, when someone steps into your life, you will no longer be able to be a perfect human being and you enter into that relationship thinking that your partner is going to take care of you like your parents.
Needless to say, little by little, your healthy relationship will turn into a poisonous one. So, you need to take control of your life and be aware of your goals, needs, and feelings. In fact, you just need to practice living your best self.
Put yourself in new and unfamiliar situations
A very popular idea is that to start a new relationship and find the right person, you must first work on your own personal growth and development. My experience shows that when women want to do this, they become isolated and feel lonely and out of reach. With such an ambiguous goal of “working on yourself” you will not be able to progress.
Work on yourself by developing your sexual and emotional awareness. But at the same time, you need new romantic relationships and friendships to get to know yourself. Each meeting with a new person will give you instant information about your priorities, strengths, and weaknesses. If you continue to think and act the way you always do, it is as if you are stuck in a swamp.
Your brain has a tremendous ability to adapt and grow if you let it. For your brain to grow, you have to give it new stimuli and experiences that will challenge it. There must be things you liked or wanted to try but were scared of. Fight this anxiety and put yourself in new situations and meet new and different people and develop other aspects of your personality. If you want to know more read how to be your best self in a relationship.)
The Bottom Line
In general, the best time to start a new relationship is when you can control your emotions. So it’s not necessarily concerned with forgetting about your previous relationship. Here are the things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship:
To begin with, you should work on your strengths and weaknesses in the relationship. A relationship is built between two people, so the responsibility for breaking it is not necessarily on one person. Look around and see what features in you have caused the previous relationship to get into trouble. Then, either yourself or with the help of an expert, take steps to correct them.
The next step is to reconsider your needs and requests for a new relationship. Take the time to answer the question: “What do I want from this new relationship?” The answer to this question is very important because if you can’t find a suitable answer to this question, the story of your previous relationship is more likely to be repeated.
Last but not least, you need to use both your feelings and your logic to make sound decisions. Of course, if you are constantly comparing the new relationship with the previous one or you are still afraid of starting a new relationship, it means that you have not forgotten the previous relationship yet.